Table of Contents

• Overview
• Why would you want to buy a rude gift?
• How can we work out whether or not it's appropriate?
• Who are they?
• What sort of relationship do you have?
• How well do you know them?
• How much does it matter if they're upset?
• So what should I buy?
• Why would someone want one?
• What sort of person would want one?
• References

Overview

The most important thing is to think about what sort of relationship you have with the recipient. If they're someone you can mess around with and they joke about you a lot, it's probably ok. However if they're not that sort of person or you don't know them well, probably best to play it safe.

Some people are pretty good at pretending to be confident and outgoing so just because someone seems to be like that, it doesn't mean they are. I can help you work out whether it's ok and also help you pick the right gift.

Why would you want to buy a rude gift?

I think the main reason is that it's fun, for both the giver and recipient; although maybe more for one than the other! It's always exciting doing something that feels a bit naughty, especially if it's the first time you've done it.

Many people have told me that they feel proud of themselves for being brave enough to do it. Once they've done it once they feel empowered and want to do it again!

It really is a great way to show someone how much they mean to you, I know from personal experience that receiving a playful gift like this shows me that the person who gave it really knows me and understands me.

How can we work out whether or not it's appropriate?

I know I'm biased but I do think I'm in a good position to help with this. Over the years I have interacted with thousands of people who have bought gifts for many different sorts of people. Many people contact me for advice about what sort of gift or card they should buy.

Who are they?

This is the most important thing; some people love being teased while others will get upset by it. You need to work out which sort of person your chosen victim is.

The easiest way to do this is watch how they behave towards others; do they make fun of their friends? Do their friends make fun of them? If so then there's a good chance they'll be ok receiving something playful from you.

It's also worth considering whether they're likely to be offended (and maybe pretend not) or just embarrassed. We've all been embarrassed at some point and usually it's no big deal; we get over it pretty quickly.

What sort of relationship do you have?

This is another important aspect; if you're someone who likes messing around and making fun of them then they'll probably be fine with a silly card or gift from you.

If however you're not really like that (at least not with them), then I'd say it's more likely they'll be surprised and possibly offended if you give them something like this. Having said that though, it might actually be easier for you as you'll just need to pretend you made a genuine mistake if they take offence!

How well do you know them?

If you've known them for years then you'll probably already know how they'll react to being given something like this. If not though you'll need to consider how well you've got to know them during your relationship.

How much does it matter if they're upset?

If giving this gift is likely to offend them, what are the consequences? If it's someone close who you'll see often then there's a good chance it'll cause problems, but if it's just some random person in your office who you'll never see again then does it really matter? If you're lucky it'll just result in an awkward silence and everyone will forget about it in an hour or two.

So what should I buy?

The best way for me to help is if we have an actual conversation about what sort of person you're buying for; I can give better advice by asking questions which I can't do here.

The usual process is that someone sends me an email saying something like 'I'm trying to buy something funny for my friend but I'm not sure what', after which I ask questions like 'what sort of person are they?' 'How close are you?' etc.

I have written articles about this which might help but honestly, the best way is just send me an email.

Why would someone want one?

If you're buying something silly for yourself or someone else, why would anyone want such a thing?

For many people, including myself, it's about expressing yourself and showing the world that you're confident enough not only receive something horrible but proudly display it!

I think that's why most people do actually buy these things for themselves, either because they're feeling so good about themselves or because they want some attention.

What sort of person would want one?

This follows on from my previous point; who would want one depends on why they'd want one. As I've said before though it's mostly about self-expression so usually it'll be someone who's pretty secure and comfortable with themselves.

Do many people feel comfortable enough (to express themselves)?

I don't think so no; we're all told throughout our lives exactly how we should behave, what we should wear etc., so very few people manage to break free from these constraints. I've talked before about how social pressure works; basically we're told what's normal by watching television and seeing adverts on billboards etc., whether we realise or not we're told every day what's considered normal. This makes us think (subconsciously) that that's how we should behave. The next part is knowing what happens when someone steps outside these boundaries – we're shown examples every day when someone's behaviour results in disapproval by others. These two things together make us scared always thinking about what everyone else thinks. To find out more visit our homepage https://mrinappropriate.co.uk/.

References

*(1) Our story