What to write in a birthday card for someone you don’t know well

Table of contents

• Overview
• First things first, why are you writing this card?
• What are they like and what sort of thing will they appreciate?
• How much risk should you take?
• What exactly should I write?
• Summary

Overview

If you don’t know them at all, and can’t find any information about them, just say ‘Happy birthday’. If you know a little about them or have some idea about the sort of thing they might like, try to write something that shows you’ve made an effort. Hopefully after reading this article you’ll have some idea what to do.

First things first, why are you writing this card?

It’s useful to think about your motivation for doing this. In my experience there are two main reasons: either it’s a friend-of-a-friend-kind-of-situation where you’re doing it as a favour for someone else, or it’s because you want to make friends with them yourself. Or possibly both.

Either way, the first step is to find out what you can about them. Ask around mutual friends or look at social media and see if there’s anything that’ll give you some clues. If the card is for your own benefit then it’s a little easier because if they don’t like it, at least it’ll be just them who thinks badly of you. If however, somebody else is involved and knows what card you sent then it could be two people who think badly of you. If I were in this situation I’d go for something a bit more fun and cheeky as the risk is low and the possible reward is higher than if it wasn’t for me. So if it’s just for me I’d choose something from our funny cards collection but if it was for someone else I’d probably go for one of our rude cards.

What are they like and what sort of thing will they appreciate?

This is the most important part; with most people in most situations this is easy because we know the person we’re buying for so we have a good guess what sort of thing they’ll like. But in this case we don’t! Try asking around friends or colleagues who might know them or might’ve seen them talk to other people. When looking at their social media profiles look out for clues like how they talk about other people and whether they post memes and stuff like that. If there really isn’t any information available then obviously all we can do is play it safe and assume that they won’t appreciate anything even slightly cheeky.

If this is the case then just buy a normal old boring card from somewhere that does boring cards (hint: not us!) or maybe just get something from our range of classic cards which should be ok. Or actually now I think about it maybe not; they’re only really suitable for people with a sense of humour so best avoid us altogether!

How much risk should you take?

By risk I mean how likely it is that they’ll be offended by the card; if there’s any doubt then best play it safe. Unless (as I said above) nobody will ever know except them – in which case why not have a bit of fun!? I think my answer here would be different depending on whether I’m buying on behalf of someone else or not. If it’s just me then as long as nobody else knows I don’t care too much but if I do care then clearly I wouldn’t want to do anything risky.

On the other hand though if someone else was involved (i.e., someone has asked me to send a card for their friend) then making sure that person is happy with what I’ve chosen would be my main priority.

Another thing to consider is whether or not others will see the card; when these are opened at work typically everyone gathers round so everyone ends up seeing whatever message was written inside so maybe bear that in mind when deciding what sort of thing to write.

What exactly should I write?

This very much depends on everything above – i.e., how well do we know them and how much information can we find out about their personality: are they likely to be offended by something rude? Even with no information at all, unless we have reason to believe otherwise, my experience tells me that there’s probably only a small chance that whatever we write will cause any offence.

If we choose something from our range of funny birthday cards that says something like ‘Hope your day doesn’t suck’ most people will take that as intended – just harmless playful banter. But while most people would see that as harmless fun, there are those who would take offence so as always we must consider the person receiving it before taking any risk.

Summary

• Try to find out what sort of thing they’d appreciate by asking around friends/colleagues or looking at their social media profiles.
• If possible find out whether others will see/hear whatever message you send (and therefore might also take offence).
• If there’s anything about their personality or interests that gives you an idea what sort of thing they’ll appreciate then use this information.
• If in doubt play it safe and get something boring and generic (sorry but we don’t sell these).
• If not then buy something from our range of birthday cards – either classic ones, funny ones or more light-hearted ones depending on what sort of person you think/hope/guess/they are.