Table of Contents

• Overview
• How do I know if they are interested?
• What sort of thing should I say?
• Should I send a message or speak directly?
• Is this the right thing for me?
• What if I've already sent her something?
• If I've sent her something, how long should I wait before contacting her again?
• If I'm sending an email should I use my work account?
• If I'm sending her a card should I use my real name?

Overview

The easiest way to say happy birthday in a flirty way is to say something playful that implies you want to get close or spend time with them. For example 'I'd love to take you out for a birthday drink', or 'What would you like for your birthday? I can give you anything you want...'. This will let them know that you are interested without being too blatant and direct. The rest of this article goes into more detail about how to do this, and includes some useful examples.

How do I know if they are interested?

For many people, the idea of flirting with someone is scary; the thought that they might be rejected or even laughed at is unbearable. In reality though, that's very unlikely to happen. Think about it, if someone said something flirty to you, would you laugh at them? Probably not. I think most of us have enough empathy and emotional intelligence not to do that.

So what would happen? If they're interested, then they might respond in a similar way: with a playful comment or just by smiling at you in a meaningful way. If they're not interested, they will probably just change the subject, or at worst, say something like 'no thanks'.

So the worst possible outcome is that you get rejected - but so what?! We've all been rejected plenty of times before and it's really not that bad; just try someone else!

What sort of thing should I say?

As mentioned above, it's best to say something playful that gives them an opportunity to accept your offer without making it clear what you're asking for. You can do this by implying what you'd like for instance:

• 'Would you like me to give you a present?'
  • This could mean any sort of present, but if you say it in a certain way and look them in the eye, it will be clear what sort of present you're suggesting.
• 'What would you like me to give you?'
  • This could mean any sort of present. Maybe they'll reply by telling you what they want. Or maybe they'll reply with another question such as 'what sort of thing are you offering?' which gives another opportunity for playful banter.
• 'Would you like me to help blow out your candle?'
  • This could mean anything really; hopefully they'd guess what you're implying!

There are lots more examples on our website so have a look there if you'd like some more inspiration.

Should I send a message or speak directly?

The answer is simple: which ever feels easier.

For most people it's easier and less scary to send a message because if things go wrong it's easier to pretend it didn't happen. And also it's easier because you're not looking into their eyes so don't feel quite so intimidated.

If you're sending a message though you'll need to think about what words to use; should it be serious or silly? Should it be short and direct or longer and more gentle?

If you're speaking directly you'll need to think about how you'll behave as well as what you'll say. Should you stand close and look into their eyes (which makes sense if you're being flirty) or should you make it more subtle and less obvious? Should your voice be gentle and quiet or loud and confident?

The answer depends on who they are and how well they know them. If they're a colleague and don't know each other well then it's best to keep it subtle and easy for them to decline.

Is this the right thing for me?

If I ask her out on her birthday will she feel uncomfortable or offended?

The answer is probably yes but she might still pretend not to be offended because she's afraid of getting into trouble at work.

What if I've already sent her something?

That's fine, just leave her alone and don't make it worse! You could apologise but that might make things worse too!

If I've sent her something, how long should I wait before contacting her again?

I don't know! Maybe just a few days - if she doesn't reply straight away then she probably won't ever reply but there's always hope!

If I'm sending an email should I use my work account?

Absolutely not! If you're sending an email buy yourself a domain name (they only cost about ten pounds), set up email forwarding from that domain (which is usually free) so that anything sent there comes through to your real mailbox. Then create yourself an email alias using the domain name you've bought. You can do all of this with google domains. This means you'll be able to send email from your normal account but it'll look like it's coming from your new alias address. It sounds complicated but it's really easy – have a look on google domains using the link below.

If I'm sending her a card should I use my real name?

Of course not! Just make up a name – we sell loads of cards where people ask us not write their name in them – that's part of our service. And obviously when we send an order we never include any documentation showing who bought it.

Summary

Just take care – every situation is different – just think carefully about who she is before doing anything stupid! Or maybe don't! Good luck!