How to choose a rude birthday card
Want to make your recipient feel sufficiently embarrassed, offended and amused, while showing them how good your sense of humour is?
- Summary
- What this guide is
- What a funny rude birthday card is not
- Why bother sending a really rude birthday card?
- Choosing the right one
- How to choose the card with the right balance of rudeness
- What about buying a rude card in the UK?
- Conclusion
Summary
To choose the right card, know your recipient and know what you want to achieve. Do you want to make them giggle or feel offended? Do you want to show off your sense of humor or make them feel loved? Once you know these things the right card will present itself.
What this guide is
I think most of us would agree that the typical rude birthday card can be a bit boring and pointless, it's just a statement that you feel you have to make. A box to tick.
If you need a little help expressing your amazing sense of humour and choosing the right card, you're in the right place.
This guide will help you work out what you can get away with and how to do it. As with many things, it depends on what you're trying to say and who the audience is.
Whether it’s for a friend, parent, or lover, the right card can turn a simple gesture into a memorable celebration.
At Mr. Inappropriate we have loads of experience talking with people doing just this, so we're totally in the right place to help you work it out :)
What a funny rude birthday card is not
Here is an example of a card that I would not consider to be rude.
I was going to add some more, but this is the only one I could find that was worthy of this article.
Although it's not rude it is mildly funny, and for some that's just what they're aiming for.
I expect not you though, or you wouldn't have bothered to read this far down this page.
Why bother sending a really rude birthday card?
There are many reasons, but I think the most important one is to show that you care about the recipient. If you just send some generic crap, you might as well just tell them that you don't care and you can't be bothered to find a card that they'll actually like.
The other reason I suppose is a little selfish: it's to show off your sense of humour! Or if you don't have one, to make them think you do!
That's a win/win, right? They feel cared for, they have a giggle, and they think you're amazing.
Plus you get the opportunity to take the piss a little.
The naughty side
As I've said in other blog articles and in the Our Story page, I think we all need to misbehave a little. You might think it's just about being silly and fucking about, but it's really not about that.
It's more about the claustrophobic feeling that so many of us get from the restrictive way we're expected to live nowadays. I mean, you can't even say how you feel or wear what you want anymore!
A good way to get yourself used to pushing these boundaries is to send a naughty card.
The boring side
Sure, yeah, you could send one from a normal shop, but it just feels like a thing you do because you have to, as I said earlier.
So much of our life is like that, and the increasing number of national days confirms this. On Valentine's Day you have to buy this and on Father's Day you have to buy that.
You're just being trained to be a drone, to mindlessly go and buy A Thing, no matter what it is, just because you're told to.
Come on, wake up, be conscious and choose to do something, because you want to, not because you're told to.
Choosing the right one
Who are you buying for? Is it a lover, a friend or a relative? I expect that this will make a difference. You don't want to tell your dad about how you want to ejaculate all over their boobs.
Actually, now I say it like that, you might, but probably unlikely.
Assuming you can work that but out all on your own, you need to now think about their sense of humour and what it's like.
This might sound easy, but many people, especially nowadays, hide this. You might think that's weird, but we're all pressurised to confirm and not show who we really are.
What is their sense of humour like?
If you know this person well, it's probably easy for you to work out what sort of card to get, but if you don't, it might involve a little thought. Maybe you've observed them giggling at something, or looking disapprovingly at someone when they do or say something. Look out for the little things, as they might be hiding it well.
How offensive should the card be?
If you give a card depicting their dangly boobs and flaps, or something that shows how low their balls are hanging, will they be offended?
Once you know that, you want to ask yourself whether you want to offend them!
It might be that you do, and you can all have a giggle about it, or maybe you just want to have a gentle joke about their age.
Or maybe you just want to send a card that suggests that they should have a right good wank to celebrate their birthday.
Think about the reaction you're looking for
I expect that you want to achieve one or more of these things:
- Make them feel embarrassed.
- Make them laugh.
- Show them how good your sense of humour is.
- Show them how well you know them.
- Show them you care.
Ultimately once you know this and know how offendable they are and what their sense of humour is like you can choose.
How to choose the card with the right balance of rudeness
I'm amazed you've read this far, well done. To prove that you have, send me an email at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk and I'll send you a 50% discount code which actually means that we'll make a loss. It's an experiment though to see how many people actually read this.
We have plenty of cards to choose from and I will write more guides to discuss them, but for now, here are a few examples:
You can see more on our Rude Birthday Cards page, there are some pretty funny ones there, although I supposed I would say that.
What about the quality of the card?
Yep, I suppose this is important; you want to give a card that is nice and hard, and big enough. Small and floppy is rarely exciting for anyone.
Also, when you send it, make sure the flaps are tucked in properly.
There are various other things I could say about print quality and vibrancy of colours etc, but that's all obvious stuff, I really don't need to tell you.
OK, I'll tell you, here we go:
Concept 1: buy one that is good.
Concept 2: buy one that is not shit.
If you can manage both of these things (at the same time), you'll be ok.
What about buying a rude card in the UK?
Fortunately for you, assuming you're in the UK, there are plenty of places to buy funny cards; I can list them here, but you can just Google it, I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for.
At Mr. Inappropriate, we have a good selection, but there are other shops out there, have a look and if you find something better than what we have, go for it! It would mean a lot to me if you could tell me about it though, I'm always curious to learn about our customers and often more importantly people who are not!
Conclusion
We're all trapped by society whether we notice, like it, or not.
If you have that itchy feeling that you want to do something bad but don't know what, this is probably the reason.
Doing something slightly naughty is a good way to relieve some of that pressure, so why not send a slightly rude birthday card!?
A few reviews
Here are a few random reviews; you can see more on our reviews page:
What a legendary store
There are some amazing things to buy on this store, it's my first go-to for any presents that I know will guarantee a laugh, the emails I get from Dan make me laugh weekly. Well worth signing up to have a giggle when checking your emails at work! 100% 10 out of 10 for service and quality.
- Ant - Swadlingcote
Amazing
I love my bear, pride of place on the fridge.
My order arrived very quickly.FANTASTIC, will definitely be ordering more stuff, I've also used one of the stickers that was sent with the order I'm sure T***O will be delighted. It made me laugh while I did it.
- Yvonne, Plymouth
Amusing and provocative items
Bought a few items off the store for Valentine. Orders were sent out and delivered swiftly and communication from Dan is excellent. Good luck with your store and keep up the HarD work!
- Jackson, Hull
