Overview
Giving a birthday card is usually a pretty lazy process, you go to a shop, buy some crap and think ‘yeah that’ll do’. If you don’t like someone that much I’d probably do the same. If however you way to make them feel a certain way, you need to pick the right card. Maybe you want to make them giggle, or maybe you want them to be in awe of your supreme sense of humour! Or maybe something else.
Do you want to send her a cute rude birthday card?
It’s easy to just say that you want to buy her a funny rude birthday card, but that doesn’t really narrow it down. Nearly all of the cards we sell are rude (and I try my best to also make them funny), but to be able to narrow it down we need to decide what sort of message you want to send.
As it’s for your wife, girlfriend or some sort of lover, the chances are you want it to be something suggestive. Even better, it’ll make her wet and horny, and want nothing more than take your penis in her mouth, or to open up so that you can have a good mouthful.
Am I right?
The ‘I fucking love you’ insert link card is probably the most popular, it’s cure and rude and a bit naughty all at the same time, and makes it clear what you want. Of course, you’re just making a statement about what you like doing to her, but the hops is that she’ll think ‘oh yeah, you like it do you? Ok then, let me show you how it’s done’.
Or something like that.
Or maybe you want to send something a little more offensive?
I guess some relationships are strong enough to support a bit of piss-taking and banter, and some really are not. For example, you could get her the ‘cunt face’ insert link card. You might have the sort of partner (as most do) that would not be happy with a card like this, but maybe you are with the sort of wonderful lady who would get it, and see it has loving humour. Or if you’re not sure, fuck it, try and it! What’s the worst that can happen?
OK, the worst probably is that aliens land and torture all of humanity to death, but I don’t think that’s very likely and certainly wouldn’t happen as a direct result of you buying a card, least of all this one. I do have others that might cause this sort of thing but we’re not talking about those here.
Or are you looking for an inappropriate birthday card for her?
Probably yes, although I don’t really like the term
inappropriate. Yeah, I know, that’s the
business name I chose, but it’s stupid really because it’s so subjective. What is inappropriate to some is totally
appropriate for someone else, and of course it also depends on the situation or
context.
Getting your cock out (for example) is a little inappropriate
in the breakfast cereal aisle in Lidl, but it’s fine when you’re in the toilet
when you go for a wee.
I suppose therefore that almost anything could be
inappropriate. Even standing up and
yawning which is normally considered ok, might be a little inappropriate if
you’re in the middle of being proposed to.
So the point is, think about what she likes and what she might
find funny, dirty or whatever, and you’ll have to decide the rest yourself.
